If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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