I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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