Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
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