And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
