If that was your dad, he is hot
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
If I die, sorry about rent.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
