maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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