Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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