You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
