so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
