new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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