The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I forget how to act sober
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
