Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
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I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
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I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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