So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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