How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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