fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
