8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
my poor anus
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
