Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
did i just pee glitter
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Randomize