no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
