Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
