it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Randomize
