There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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