Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
