Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
