I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
