Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Say something about gay babies.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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