im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
