Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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