We should be called the Road Head Warriors
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
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