You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
