apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
