none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The air was thick with penises
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
