Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
