Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Randomize
