no, he came in my armpit
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
