that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize