We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Randomize
