i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
