I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
