I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
