lets start a swedish sibling band together
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Everclear isn't food dammit
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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