I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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