You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
