Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Randomize
