She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize