I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
