When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
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