i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
