Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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