You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Randomize
