You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
