I want to stick my p in your. b.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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