i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
