According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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